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One of the more ridiculous myths about “true love” is the idea of the soulmate – that there is someone out there who is your perfect match.

A good relationship is about navigating the numerous differences between you – over politics, food, money, how to raise children.

It’s those differences that make life more interesting, as our lover opens up a whole new way of seeing or understanding the world.

But if you can both talk honestly about what irritates or upsets you and why, you are more likely to understand each other better.Go to a place where you used to laugh or where there’s a good chance of laughter.That moment when you exchange a look and end up laughing, often over a shared memory, is the best way to understand each other again.Try to establish a friendship with the most sympathetic of your in-laws who can be your defender, if necessary, when you are not present.An ally in the family can also fill in aspects of the past that may help you to understand your partner. If you’re tempted to check your partner’s inbox or online history, stop, talk to yourself (whatever the psychologists say, it’s good for you).

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